Why does life seem more and more meaningless day by day? Where the light of hope there is’s supposed to refresh me? Sometimes I wonder why people were put into this earth for. I am sorry for doubting but are we really here for a purpose? Everyone says that if I put my faith in the Lord I’ll find a breakthrough but everything’s getting darker and darker as I am finding lesser and lesser meaning to my life on this earth. Why do so many other people seem to go through life smoother than I and succeed too?
Now I realized how much of a burden I am to so many people: my family and all those friends who really care about me. I am sorry I give you trouble. I really am. I wonder if it would really be better if I didn’t exist or if I cease to exist in the near future…

06:53; undramatically.Y

I am tired. Very tired. When am I going to find some relieve? There is always a never-ending pile of work to be done and when things get delayed by some irresponsible people, I end up having to suffer with them or worse still, suffer for them. I don’t want to go through this anymore but nothing seems to be working. I feel like I am going to break soon but no one will ever care. Seriously, now I do not feel any or much love or care from my friends. These are the people I am seeing most of the day and I rely on. Putting up a front isn’t going to help but I cannot help it. Looks like no one actually understands me anymore. I am on the verge of breaking and I do not know who to turn to. All I wish now is that all these pain can be evaporated away like my tears now…

geraldine~

09:28; undramatically.Y

You are one of my really good friends and we happen to work together for a project this year. As a good friend of mine, I do not keep it from you. You do know how much work and commitments I have. I am much drained. I know that you are busy with studies since there are exams and all this week but so am I. I do still have another piano exam. I wish you would not ask for extensions for the project work once it is mentioned. Instead, look at the piece of work given to you before you comment. I know the work is sometimes a lot and I would very much like to give an extension. If really needed, I would. The reason I’m not doing so this time because the schedule is too tight. Furthermore, the workload is not too much and I have already planned and taken different tests into consideration. I know you might not like it that I’m not giving extensions and am rushing so much, if you do happen to read it, but please do know: I really do want to give extensions but I just really cannot. The tight schedule and the heavy amount of work are way too much for me to allow a break. I really treasure our friendship and I do not want it to break so I really wish you would try to understand. I am afraid. With the stress that I am holding, I might just blast off at you anytime. What will happen to our friendship then?

geraldine~

06:07; undramatically.Y

I hate to be lied to. Even if it’s not a nice comment, I rather you say it to my face. It’s easier.
However, why is it that I cannot hate you after being betrayed by you? I really did love you to an extent so why is it that you had to hurt me? Disappointment. Anger. Agony. In the end, pain won it all.
It was my birthday. Why did it have to find out on that day? I tried to stir up some hate for you but I couldn’t. As tears ran down controllably, I felt so numb from the hurt you caused me. I trusted you so much. So why? I really wished to close my eyes, sleep and wake up to find out that this was just a nightmare. But no, life isn’t that smooth.
I feel stupid for trusting you. Why did I let you come into my heart? It made me realized that maybe I have been too trusting. Well, I have to thank you for one thing. And that is, I will learn not to trust anyone so easily anymore. Not even if facts seem to say that that person is trustworthy. No more will I be that stupid and let someone else hurt me. It has happened too many times.
Someone once told me that if we cling too hard, things will only get difficult as it will break. So I should learn to let go. Learn not to take everything to heart even if it’s the closet friends. Cause for all I know, I’ll get hurt again…

geraldine~

08:32; undramatically.Y

i'm 16 now. i know i said i wanted to be mature in this new year that i'm going to walk. just only minutes into my birthday and i'm already childish. but i don't know can you blame me? my birthday falls on the 25th of february every year. but at home, it's always 27th of february that my birthday is celebrated, that's y brother's birth date. he's he guy for that day and everytime i don't feel like my birthday should be celebrated then. unfair i can cry out but nothing's ever done. nothing can be done. maybe i should just change my birthday to the 27 of february.
childish i know. but hey, i have selfish feelings too.

08:39; undramatically.Y

It’s 15 mins after 7pm now. In about 4 hours and 45 mins, I’ll be 16. I don’t know whether I’m looking forward to it. My parents say that it’s time for me to be more 淑女 but that will mean end of my fun><
Anyway, I think for this year, I should set some resolutions.
1. Be more matured
2. Dare
3. Shhhh… ^^
Well, I guess this will be my resolution until I turn 17(:
geraldine~

02:36; undramatically.Y

I think I might be falling for you. Yet at the same time, I am not sure. Am I really falling for you or is it my heart playing a trick on me? You are important to me and I treasure our close friendship; therefore, I do not want to lose it or let things become awkward between us. Maybe you might not mind but I do.
To stop a flower from blooming, there are many ways but I might just kill it. Cruel fate leaves us without choices sometimes. Why can’t things stay at status quo without our feelings messing things up? I don’t care. This time, I will not let things be messed up. Once water slips through your fingers, there is no way that you can get it back…


“The world would be better off without your existence.”
Where have I heard that before? I no longer remember. I no longer fear all these comments and the pain they might bring.
Walking with my shadow as my companion, I have learnt to enjoy it. Emo? Gloomy? Weird? I do not care. I like the silence and peace that comes with it. They say for every gain, there is a price you have to pay. I do not mind this if it means I could get away from the noise.



~drowning myself in the sweet embrace of peace~

06:49; undramatically.Y